What do you want?
What makes you happy?
Perhaps more importantly, what makes you unhappy?
These are important questions that I think too many of us sail through life without really, deeply contemplating. So many of us are stuck on the treadmill, caught between the demands of work and family/friends and what society expects of us. Don’t get me wrong, I think a lot of the time we enjoy many of these things. But do we question them? Do we ever stop to ask what the alternative is? I know I didn’t.
For a long time, although I was definitely on a search for what made me happy, I continued to make choices out of fear of what other people would think, or because that is what was expected of me, or because that’s just what everyone else was doing. A lot of the time the results didn’t serve me. Sometimes, they really hurt me.
In my journey of self-development and exploration these last few years, the one thing I’ve begun to realise is that I am the one who makes the choices and has to deal with the consequences. But the fantastic part of that is that I am the one who makes the choices and has to, no, gets to deal with the consequences. I am the one. Me! If I don’t like it, I can change it!
I have realised that I don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. I don’t have to buy the thing the advertisement tells me I ‘need’. I don’t have to do things just because that is what society expects of me.
Here are some more important questions:
What would you do if you had all the money/time/resources in the world? What would you do if anything were possible? How is that different from what you are doing right now?
Now, I’m not at all saying ditch everything and everyone in your life. As a coach, my aim is to help you live your best life. That means keeping the stuff that works and makes you happy, and reconsidering the stuff that doesn’t.
My realisation was simply this: don’t let other people’s agendas dictate your life choices. Think deeply about what you want and don’t want, feel deeply grateful for the life and lessons you have had and dare to dream about a future that includes more of what you want and less of what you don’t want.
It’s your life, so live by your own agenda.
There is a line from my favourite Dr. Seuss book, ‘Oh! The Places You’ll Go’ that perfectly sums up what I mean:
You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself any direction you choose.